Wednesday, February 22, 2017

First Alanon Meeting

My Mom is an alcoholic.  Sometimes I wonder if that is where my issues with alcohol come from.  My therapist suggested I attend an Al-Anon meeting.  My Dad has suggested it for years but after hearing someone else recommend it I decided I should finally go.

Al-Anon is:
       "The Al-Anon Family Groups are a fellowship of relatives and friends of alcoholics who share their experience, strength, and hope in order to solve their common problems.  We believe alcoholism is a family illness and that changed attitudes can aid recovery.
      Al-Anon is not allied with any sect, denomination, political entity, organization, or institution: does not engage in any controversy; neither endorses nor opposes any cause.  There are no dues for membership.  Al-anon is self-supporting through its own voluntary contributions.  
      Al-Anon has but one purpose: to help families of alcoholics.  We do this by practicing the Twelve Steps, by welcoming and giving comfort to families of alcoholic, and by giving understanding and encouragement to the alcoholic.

  I googled meetings in my town and decided to try one last Friday afternoon.  It was held at a local church and there were 35 women there!!  I was surprised and saddened by the amount of people.  And surprised that it was all women. The meeting started with a prayer and then we all went around and said our names and how we were feeling.  Then the woman that was leading the group read a passage and following it we were given 5 minutes to meditate on the passage.  After that people were given the opportunity to speak and share what was on their mind.  One woman shared that she was excited to see her recovering alcoholic adult child for the weekend, one woman shared a heartbreaking story of bailing her alcoholic son out of jail and another woman cried about her husband and the bad choices he is making. It was nice to hear stories from other people that are in similar situations.

The meeting also showed me how drinking affects the other people in your life.  Being the child of an alcoholic I thought I already knew but I left wanting to be a better person and work on my own issues with alcohol.

The central theme that I picked up from the meeting was that the situation with the alcoholic is out of our hands.  Unfortunately, we can't fix them or change it.  We can be supportive and we can help but ultimately the decision is theirs.  It is up to a Higher Power.  I left the meeting feeling relaxed and supported.  It was the best free therapy!  If anyone else is facing a similar family situation I urge you to go!  My Mom has been battling with alcoholism for 15 years and it took me this long to attend.  I am going to try to make this meeting part of my weekly routine.

Monday, February 20, 2017

Workouts 2/12 to 2/18

2/12: Rest Day

2/13: 3 mile run

2/14: Iron Tribe Power Class
         20 min AMRAP of:
         10 Strict Pull-ups ( I used a red and purple band for the first few rounds and then added another red)
         10 Double KB Front Squats (I went back and forth using the 18 and 26lb KB)
         20 Medicine Ball Slams
*I finished 5 rounds, 20 reps

2/15: Iron Tribe Power Class
         A. 15 min to Build to a 3RM Split Jerk

         B.  For Time (9 min cap)
              3 Rounds of:
              15 HSPU's
              30 Walking Lunges

I got up to 80lbs for the Split Jerk and finished part B in 7:20.  The HSPUs were tough!  Still using two ab mats against the wall.

2/16: Rest Day

2/17: Iron Tribe Power Class
         25 Minutes to Complete the Following:
         Pause Front Squat
*Build to Heaviest Weight throughout

After the first 4 sets, perform the following as fast as possible:
15 pull-ups
400 m run

I got 100lbs for the 3RM Front Squat

2/18: Iron Tribe
         20 Minute AMRAP:
         3 Deadlifts
         5 Box Jumps
        10 KB Swings
        15 Max Effort Pulls on the Rower
        100 meter Farmers Carry

I finished 5 rounds.  I used 105lbs for the DL's 35lbs for the KB swings and did step ups instead of box jumps.  Since I wiped out last year I am scared of box jumps.

Saturday, February 18, 2017

I Failed....

Last Saturday night I drank.  I fell off the wagon.  I woke up on Sunday feeling guilty and hungover.  Totally stupid.  D was out of town on Saturday and I wanted to go do something fun.  Unfortunately I couldn't think of anything besides meeting up with a friend and going out and drinking.  I didn't even contemplate the decision much in my head.  I just went out to my local spots and drank.  My friend had no idea that I haven't been drinking so it wasn't like she was trying to stop me.  And drinking wasn't even that fun.  It wasn't like falling off a diet and eating ice cream, that I think it totally worth it.  Its just alcohol tho.  It really isn't that exciting.  I don't know why people even like it.  Me included.  It makes you fat, makes you say stupid things, typically makes you spend more money than you intended to, can ruin relationships and lives.  Yet so many people do it.  I guess the key is doing it with "moderation".  I hate that word.  I suck at moderation.  D has no idea that I drank.  I didn't tell him that I didn't but I didn't confess that I did either.  I feel guilty for hiding it from him.  I was paranoid that he would somehow find out and be really disappointed in me.  That is the worst feeling.  I know that I definitely have some social anxiety and alcohol helps.  I need to learn to be out with other people that are drinking and relax and have fun without drinking.  Any tips?  Do I just keep forcing myself in these situations?  Will that make it easier?  Kinda like speaking in front of a crowd, the more you do it the easier it becomes?  Or am I just tempting myself and putting myself at risk again by going out?  And then what?  I just sit home on the weekend and go stir crazy and feel like I am missing out?  Its Saturday night again and I feel like I am back in the dilemma.

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Workouts 2/5 to 211

This was a great week of workouts!  The barbell rollouts on Monday destroyed my abs for several days.  I am still recovering from bronchitis and have a cough and that made my sore abs miserable!  I wish we did that move more often!

2/5: 4.5 mile run/walk

2/6: Iron Tribe Power Class
A.  Every 2 minutes for 6 sets (12 min total):
      3 Tempo Deadlifts + 5 Barbell Rollouts
      * Tempo is 3 seconds down and 1 second up on Deadlifts
      * Weight used is approximately 70% of 1 Rep Max - I used 105lbs

B.  For Time (10 min cap)
      20-15-10 of:
      Over the Bar (OTB) Burpees
      * I used 95lbs and finished in 9:40

2/7: Rest Day

2/8: Iron Tribe Power Class
       4 Rounds of the following (20 min total):
        1 min max rep unbroken Push Press
         30 sec Rest
        1 min max Medicine Ball Slams
         30 sec Rest
        1 min max Calorie Row
        1 min Rest
* I used 65lbs for the Push Presses

2/9: Rest Day

2/10: Rest Day

2/11: At Home Workout:
         100 sit-ups
         100 air squats
         100 push-ups
          1 mile run

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Debt Update February 2017

I made a lot more progress in January!  I paid off $2500.87 of debt!  I worked a lot but it was definitely worth it.  $1565 came from my part time waitressing job.  The rest I was able to squeeze out of my monthly budget by cutting expenses.

Iberia Loan: PAID OFF!
Fifth Third: $5,288.40
Wells Fargo: $1529.12
Boyfriend Loan: $7,000
Total Debt: $13,817.52

My goal for February is to pay off the Wells Fargo balance and begin on the Fifth Third balance.

My car is leased and the lease is up in August.  I won't be leasing again but would like to buy a decent used car.  A car that is about 2 or 3 years old with about 40,000 miles or fewer on it and costs about $10k to $13k. I won't be able to pay off the $13K and save about $12K for the new car by August.  I would hate to bust my butt to pay the debt off to turn around and go right back into debt.  I would be okay buying a junker car for $1,000 and driving that for a little while but my day job is very client focused and unfortunately that would send the wrong impression to my clients.  I know going into debt to impress people is extremely stupid but I really think I would lose business and credibility if I show up to client meetings in a POS.  I may pay off all of the loans except the boyfriend loan and then begin saving money like crazy for the new car.  I'll check with him first but I think he'll be okay with that idea!  Happy with the progress I am making and hope I can keep it up for February!

Saturday, February 4, 2017

Workouts 1/29 to 2/4

I'm embarrassed to even post this!  Being sick sucks!  I have had no energy all week!  I finally woke up and felt like myself today.  I have motivation again and a desire to do things besides nap and watch Grey's Anatomy.  Hate that I missed a whole week of workouts but nothing I can do about it now.  Finally made it to a yoga class today.  It was on the beach and awesome!  I absolutely love the instructor.  She is very calm and has this awesome energy to her.  Just being around her makes me feel calm and happy.  She teaches two days a week and I would like to start going more often.  I am going to schedule my workouts for next week and get back on track.  Can anyone recommend a good daily vitamin or a greens supplement?  I used to be the person that could claim they never got sick and now I have been sick a lot in the last year:(

1/29: Sick

1/30: Sick

1/31: Sick

2/1: Sick

2/2: Sick

2/3: Sick

2/4: Beach Yoga

Friday, February 3, 2017

2017 Goals Update #1

I like to check in once a month with my annual goals.  This way I don't get to the end of the year and realize I haven't completed anything.  So here is what I accomplished in January!

2017 Goals
1.    Stop Biting Nails
·       1/30 Shellac on my nails.  Looking good.
2.    Increase income by 64%
3.    Increase Assets under Management by 30%
·       January 1st: $10,843,060
4.    Read 12 Business related books
5.    Teach FPU 3 times
1.    Jan 18th
6.    Be debt free by December 31, 2017
·       1/1/17: $16,318.39
·       2/1/17: $13,817.52
7.    Decrease body fat to 23%
8.    Be able to do 5 unassisted pull ups
9.    Do grey workouts only 25% of the time
10. Meditate 5 days a week
·       Jan: 19 days
11. Take a meditation class
12. Blog once a week
·       Jan : 10 posts
13. Read the Bible book from Natalie
14. Volunteer at church
15.  Attend a bible study or Connect Group at Church
16. Read 12 Spiritual Books
17. Try Paddleboarding
18. Have 0 alcohol related fights/issues
1.    Red wine Cab night
2.    Islamorada
Failed at this during January. This is why I decided to give up alcohol.
19. Get engaged to Dave
20.  Read 25 books for fun
1.    Summer House by Nancy Thayer
2.    Secret Daughter by Shilpi Somaya Gowda
21. Find a new charity to get involved with

Some Thoughts:
I am very happy that I paid off $2500 in debt!!  If I can keep that up every month I would be thrilled.  
II need to keep up meditating and increase it a bit because once I get behind with that I won't be able to catch up!
In January I am going to focus on 2 Spiritual Books and 2 Business Related Books!  

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Two Weeks Sober!!!

Its been two weeks since I've had any alcohol!  I thought the first two weeks would be more difficult but I have been very busy with work and the last four days I have been sick with bronchitis.  I think staying busy is extremely important in the beginning of this alcohol free journey.  I have barely had any time to go out with my friends so it has been easy to stay away from alcohol.

I had two occasions in the last two weeks where I didn't have alcohol and in the past I would have.  The first was going out to dinner with D.  We hadn't been out for a date night in awhile so we made it a priority.  In the past I would have had a drink or two at the house while we were getting ready to go out.  He had a beer at home before as we were getting ready and I was kind of tense because I didn't have a drink.  I felt uptight and somewhat anxious.  We went to the restaurant and I ordered a water and D ordered another beer.  At this time I started to relax a bit.  We know the owner of the restaurant and he came over at one point and offered to buy me a glass of wine and I politely declined, he was insisting that it went very well with the pasta dish that I was eating.  I just said that I had to be up very early the next day and would pass.  Besides being a little anxious at the house before we left the rest of the night was great!  It was nice not trying to moderate myself and worrying about overdoing it, or going to bed feeling guilty or waking up feeling crappy.  Plus since I wasn't drinking I had plenty of room for homemade gelato!

The second event was my monthly Book Club that I hosted.  My book club consists of about 10 ladies. We do a book exchange and just hang out and eat snacks and drink wine.  I was tense before people came over.  Normally I would have a glass of wine or two as I prepare appetizers and get the house ready but this month I just stuck to water.  I even escaped to my bathroom to practice some deep relaxation breathing as my friends were arriving.  WTH?!?!  Who has to go hide in their bathroom when their friends come over to breathe and relax?  That seems so weird to me.  Was I using alcohol before to handle some social anxieties that I have?  Once we all started laughing and having fun I relaxed.  I drank herbal tea all night.  One friend mentioned me just drinking tea and I just brushed it off and said that I may have wine later - even though I knew I DEFINITELY wasn't having wine later.  I just wasn't interested in explaining my new choice to everyone yet.

I am starting to wonder if maybe I have some type of social anxiety?  It seems that I get tense and want alcohol before some kind of event or outing.  Not sure if that is just habit or because I am nervous.  I am going to therapy to work on some of these issues.  I am not a "therapy person"  I have been to 4 sessions in my 32 years of life but figured it can't hurt.  Plus I have extra money now that I am not spending it on alcohol!  But therapy is NOT cheap.  As I learn more I will keep you posted!