Tuesday, May 16, 2017

My Mom's In Jail....

I'm assuming, or hoping that will be the strangest and saddest blog title I will ever have to write.

As I have mentioned before my Mom is an alcoholic.  When I was younger she was a very normal Mom.  Actually she was much better than normal, she was extremely caring and supportive and always put her children and family first.  When I was about 16 she started drinking more and more.  When I was 21 she first went to rehab.  The last 10 years have been very volatile.  She has been in and out of rehabs, detox centers, homeless shelters and has had and lost countless jobs.

About three weeks ago I had about 10 girlfriends over and heard a knock at my front door.  Everyone that I was expecting had already arrived so I was curious to see who it was.  I opened the door and was shocked to see my Mom on my door step.  I haven't had much of a relationship with her over the past 5 years.  I could tell that she was intoxicated so I told her she could stay but had to go in the spare bedroom and go to bed.   The next morning she I told her that she couldn't stay at my house.  I told her that I let her stay because I didn't want her on the road drunk the night before. After a lot of begging and tears from her she left.  I felt horrible but I have been through this so many times that I know exactly how the situation will end.  She was sober when she left our house at 9am.  By 11am she had been arrested for a DUI.

She has been there for 3 weeks now.  She has burned all her bridges and alcohol has ruined all over her relationships and no one wants to be responsible for bailing her out.  In a way I am grateful that she is in jail.  I know that must sound heartless but now she can't drink and hurt anyone else.  I think a few weeks of being sober will be good for her.  Drinking that heavily for so long really affects your mind.  She was becoming delusional.  Unfortunately I don't think a few weeks of being sober in jail will fix her but maybe it will give her the courage to change.  I pray for her everyday and hope the story ends well.

Monday, May 15, 2017

Recent Reads

I have been devouring books lately!  I absolutely love to read and share with others.

Blackberry Winter by Sarah Jio
      Seattle 1933.  Vera Ray kisses her three year-old son, Daniel, good night and reluctantly leaves for work.  She hates the night shift, but it's the only way she can earn enough to keep destitution at bay.  In the morning - even though it's the second of May - a heavy snow is falling.  Vera rushes to wake Daniel, but his bed is empty.  His teddy bear lies outside in the snow.
      Seattle, present day.  On the second of May, Seattle Herald reporter Claire Aldridge awakens to another late-season snowstorm.  Assigned to cover this "blackberry winter" and its predecessor decades earlier, Claire learns of Daniel's unsolved abduction and vows to unearth the truth - only to discover that she and Vera are linked in unexpected ways.

I really enjoyed this book!  I read it in a day.  It followed the life on Vera in the 30s and Claire in present time.  I love books that show glimpses of the past.  It was easy and fun to read.

After You by Jojo Moyes
       After the transformative six months she spent with Will Traynor, Louisa Clark is struggling without him.  And when an extraordinary accident forces Lou to return home to her family, she can't help but feels she's right back where she started.
       Her body heals, by Lou knows that she needs to be kick-started back to life.  Reluctantly, she joins the Moving On support group and meets the one man who might be able to understand her. Then a figure from Will's past appears and hijacks all her plans, propelling Lou into a very different future...

I really enjoyed the first book in this series, Me Before You so I was excited to read this one.  But it wasn't nearly as good as the first.  I don't want to give the plot away but it seemed to drag on a bit. I would still recommend reading it if you enjoyed the first one, but don't expect a book of the same caliber.

The Other Story by Tatiana de Rosnay
       Vacationing at a luxurious Tuscan island resort, Nicolas Duhamel is hopeful that the ghosts of his past have finally been put to rest… Now a bestselling author, when he was twenty-four years old, he stumbled upon a troubling secret about his family - a secret that was carefully concealed. In shock, Nicholas embarked on a journey to uncover the truth that took him from the Basque coast to St. Petersburg - but the answers wouldn't come easily.

In the process of digging into his past, something else happened. Nicolas began writing a novel that was met with phenomenal success, skyrocketing him to literary fame whether he was ready for it or not - and convincing him that he had put his family's history firmly behind him. But now, years later, Nicolas must reexamine everything he thought he knew, as he learns that, however deeply buried, the secrets of the past always find a way out.

The first book I read by de Rosnay was Sarah's Key and I absolutely loved it!  It was phenomenal.  So I was expecting something similar from this book.  However I was majorly disappointed.  I stopped reading this book about half way through it.  I'm hoping her next book will be better!  I would skip this one.

Truly, Madly, Guilty by Liane Moriarty

Six responsible adults. Three cute kids. One small dog. It’s just a normal weekend. What could possibly go wrong?  Sam and Clementine have a wonderful, albeit, busy life: they have two little girls, Sam has just started a new dream job, and Clementine, a cellist, is busy preparing for the audition of a lifetime. If there’s anything they can count on, it’s each other.

Clementine and Erika are each other’s oldest friends. A single look between them can convey an entire conversation. But theirs is a complicated relationship, so when Erika mentions a last minute invitation to a barbecue with her neighbors, Tiffany and Vid, Clementine and Sam don’t hesitate. Having Tiffany and Vid’s larger than life personalities there will be a welcome respite.

Two months later, it won’t stop raining, and Clementine and Sam can’t stop asking themselves the question: What if we hadn’t gone?

In Truly Madly Guilty, Liane Moriarty takes on the foundations of our lives: marriage, sex, parenthood, and friendship. She shows how guilt can expose the fault lines in the most seemingly strong relationships, how what we don’t say can be more powerful than what we do, and how sometimes it is the most innocent of moments that can do the greatest harm.

Well again, this wasn't as good as Liane's first few books that I've read.  I was disappointed.  In the first 100 pages of the book they allude to what happened on that day at the BBQ but don't come out and say it until half way through the book.  I think the author was trying to build suspense but I just ended up frustrated.  I would recommend reading it but lower your expectations.

Seems that the theme of this post is disappointment in Author's that I have loved in the past with the exception of Sarah Jio.  Blah.  Hoping my next few books are better!

Have you read anything great lately?  Please share!!!

Sunday, May 14, 2017


Wow just reread my last post from about a month ago when I thought D and I were going to break up!  Yikes.  Glad that didn't happen.  Luckily we were able to work everything and I think our relationship is in a really great place now:)

Here's whats been happening around here lately:

  • We put our sweet rescue dog Lucy to sleep last week.  It was so sad but I know the right thing to do.  She had cancer and was starting to feel pain and it wasn't fair to her.  We will be adopting another senior dog, but may wait until after some summer trips.  In my opinion senior dogs are the best!  They are housebroken and very laid back.  We don't have the time for a puppy.  Maybe I do have the time but I'm not interested in using it to teach an animal not to go to the bathroom in my living room.  No thank you!  And often times senior dogs are overlooked so I feel so bad for them.  
  • Just got home today from a trip to Islamorada.  Islamorada is in the Florida Keys and its beautiful and very relaxing!  Its a big fishing destination.  Fishing isn't my thing but I love laying in the sun.  There were manatee in the canal in front of our condo.  It was really neat!  We had a great meal at Lazy Days.  I also recommend Robbie's...its a cool outdoor bar.  Food isn't impressive but its a fun atmosphere.
  • I just started watching Big Little Lies.  I read the book about a year ago and loved it!  I just finished episode 3 and I am hooked.  I LOVE Reese Witherspoon!
  • I need to write a debt update post, but I have about $9500 left to pay off.  I feel like I am making progress!
  • I've finally jumped on the "not washing your hair everyday" bandwagon.  I'm only a few days in but well see how it goes.  I have thin hair that doesn't have a lot of volume.  Ive been told washing it less will add volume to it.  I purchased a dry shampoo today but haven't used it yet.  Any one else do this?  Anything I need to know?  I am worried about it being gross on days I work out and get all sweaty but I'll just go with it for now and see what happen.
  • I made this granola today and love it! Paleo Granola
  • Going to see a live Dave Ramsey event this week!  I am geeking out!  I am so excited.  I hope I can shake his hand.  I will probably be so nervous and freak out.  I feel like a teenager going to a Backstreet Boys concert:)
Hope you had a great weekend! 

Saturday, April 8, 2017

Is It Over?

Well my 10 year relationship may be over.  Yikes!  Terrifying to even type that.  I went out on Thursday night and got extremely drunk.  D is fed up with my binge drinking and said it was over.  I understand where he is coming from.  I do the same thing and then promise to change but don't follow through.  His lifestyle is very much into partying and socializing.  I am having a hard time staying home and not drinking and still feeling like he and I are connected.  So I go out and it back fires!
I know my actions and alcohol problem have caused this situation but I don't feel that he has been as supportive as he could have been.  In the past when he has gone on a diet or decided not to drink for awhile I typically decide to do it too.  He doesn't ask me too but I just feel like its the thing to do.  And he doesn't do that for me.  He thinks I am the one with the problem and that I need to change.  We don't really have any hobbies or activities that we do together that don't involve alcohol beside sex.  I'm not trying to turn this around on him.  But feel like he is a part of the problem too.  Does that make sense?  Or am I trying to shift the blame?
I live in his condo with him.  I will have to move if this really happens.  Its overwhelming.  Since I am still in debt and following the Dave Ramsey plan I only have $1000 in my savings account and I have been throwing every extra dollar at my debt.  I will have to pause the debt reduction plan and save up money to move out.  I am 32 and own nothing beside my clothes.  I don't have any furniture, dishes or tvs.  Crazy huh?  I have been with D since I was 22 and the only place I rented during that time was furnished.  When my previous boyfriend and I broke up when I was 21 I basically let im take everything.  I'm not high maintenance and will be fine with used things.  It is just overwhelming to think about at the moment.  Also, my dog is 70lbs and sick so I need a first floor.  Unfortunately she won't be around much longer because of her cancer but I will take her with me when I go.  Hard to find rentals that allow large dogs.  D isn't beating me and it isn't like I need to move ASAP but I would like to get on with it, if that is how it is going to play out.
He was angry when he said that it was over.  I just want to hear him reconfirm that and then I will start putting a plan into place to get on with my life.
I wonder why I keep doing this to myself?  Am I trying to sabotage my relationship?  I do really love him but do I know deep down that it isn't the right fit?  Lots going on in my head!

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

First Alanon Meeting

My Mom is an alcoholic.  Sometimes I wonder if that is where my issues with alcohol come from.  My therapist suggested I attend an Al-Anon meeting.  My Dad has suggested it for years but after hearing someone else recommend it I decided I should finally go.

Al-Anon is:
       "The Al-Anon Family Groups are a fellowship of relatives and friends of alcoholics who share their experience, strength, and hope in order to solve their common problems.  We believe alcoholism is a family illness and that changed attitudes can aid recovery.
      Al-Anon is not allied with any sect, denomination, political entity, organization, or institution: does not engage in any controversy; neither endorses nor opposes any cause.  There are no dues for membership.  Al-anon is self-supporting through its own voluntary contributions.  
      Al-Anon has but one purpose: to help families of alcoholics.  We do this by practicing the Twelve Steps, by welcoming and giving comfort to families of alcoholic, and by giving understanding and encouragement to the alcoholic.

  I googled meetings in my town and decided to try one last Friday afternoon.  It was held at a local church and there were 35 women there!!  I was surprised and saddened by the amount of people.  And surprised that it was all women. The meeting started with a prayer and then we all went around and said our names and how we were feeling.  Then the woman that was leading the group read a passage and following it we were given 5 minutes to meditate on the passage.  After that people were given the opportunity to speak and share what was on their mind.  One woman shared that she was excited to see her recovering alcoholic adult child for the weekend, one woman shared a heartbreaking story of bailing her alcoholic son out of jail and another woman cried about her husband and the bad choices he is making. It was nice to hear stories from other people that are in similar situations.

The meeting also showed me how drinking affects the other people in your life.  Being the child of an alcoholic I thought I already knew but I left wanting to be a better person and work on my own issues with alcohol.

The central theme that I picked up from the meeting was that the situation with the alcoholic is out of our hands.  Unfortunately, we can't fix them or change it.  We can be supportive and we can help but ultimately the decision is theirs.  It is up to a Higher Power.  I left the meeting feeling relaxed and supported.  It was the best free therapy!  If anyone else is facing a similar family situation I urge you to go!  My Mom has been battling with alcoholism for 15 years and it took me this long to attend.  I am going to try to make this meeting part of my weekly routine.

Monday, February 20, 2017

Workouts 2/12 to 2/18

2/12: Rest Day

2/13: 3 mile run

2/14: Iron Tribe Power Class
         20 min AMRAP of:
         10 Strict Pull-ups ( I used a red and purple band for the first few rounds and then added another red)
         10 Double KB Front Squats (I went back and forth using the 18 and 26lb KB)
         20 Medicine Ball Slams
*I finished 5 rounds, 20 reps

2/15: Iron Tribe Power Class
         A. 15 min to Build to a 3RM Split Jerk

         B.  For Time (9 min cap)
              3 Rounds of:
              15 HSPU's
              30 Walking Lunges

I got up to 80lbs for the Split Jerk and finished part B in 7:20.  The HSPUs were tough!  Still using two ab mats against the wall.

2/16: Rest Day

2/17: Iron Tribe Power Class
         25 Minutes to Complete the Following:
         Pause Front Squat
*Build to Heaviest Weight throughout

After the first 4 sets, perform the following as fast as possible:
15 pull-ups
400 m run

I got 100lbs for the 3RM Front Squat

2/18: Iron Tribe
         20 Minute AMRAP:
         3 Deadlifts
         5 Box Jumps
        10 KB Swings
        15 Max Effort Pulls on the Rower
        100 meter Farmers Carry

I finished 5 rounds.  I used 105lbs for the DL's 35lbs for the KB swings and did step ups instead of box jumps.  Since I wiped out last year I am scared of box jumps.

Saturday, February 18, 2017

I Failed....

Last Saturday night I drank.  I fell off the wagon.  I woke up on Sunday feeling guilty and hungover.  Totally stupid.  D was out of town on Saturday and I wanted to go do something fun.  Unfortunately I couldn't think of anything besides meeting up with a friend and going out and drinking.  I didn't even contemplate the decision much in my head.  I just went out to my local spots and drank.  My friend had no idea that I haven't been drinking so it wasn't like she was trying to stop me.  And drinking wasn't even that fun.  It wasn't like falling off a diet and eating ice cream, that I think it totally worth it.  Its just alcohol tho.  It really isn't that exciting.  I don't know why people even like it.  Me included.  It makes you fat, makes you say stupid things, typically makes you spend more money than you intended to, can ruin relationships and lives.  Yet so many people do it.  I guess the key is doing it with "moderation".  I hate that word.  I suck at moderation.  D has no idea that I drank.  I didn't tell him that I didn't but I didn't confess that I did either.  I feel guilty for hiding it from him.  I was paranoid that he would somehow find out and be really disappointed in me.  That is the worst feeling.  I know that I definitely have some social anxiety and alcohol helps.  I need to learn to be out with other people that are drinking and relax and have fun without drinking.  Any tips?  Do I just keep forcing myself in these situations?  Will that make it easier?  Kinda like speaking in front of a crowd, the more you do it the easier it becomes?  Or am I just tempting myself and putting myself at risk again by going out?  And then what?  I just sit home on the weekend and go stir crazy and feel like I am missing out?  Its Saturday night again and I feel like I am back in the dilemma.

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Workouts 2/5 to 211

This was a great week of workouts!  The barbell rollouts on Monday destroyed my abs for several days.  I am still recovering from bronchitis and have a cough and that made my sore abs miserable!  I wish we did that move more often!

2/5: 4.5 mile run/walk

2/6: Iron Tribe Power Class
A.  Every 2 minutes for 6 sets (12 min total):
      3 Tempo Deadlifts + 5 Barbell Rollouts
      * Tempo is 3 seconds down and 1 second up on Deadlifts
      * Weight used is approximately 70% of 1 Rep Max - I used 105lbs

B.  For Time (10 min cap)
      20-15-10 of:
      Over the Bar (OTB) Burpees
      * I used 95lbs and finished in 9:40

2/7: Rest Day

2/8: Iron Tribe Power Class
       4 Rounds of the following (20 min total):
        1 min max rep unbroken Push Press
         30 sec Rest
        1 min max Medicine Ball Slams
         30 sec Rest
        1 min max Calorie Row
        1 min Rest
* I used 65lbs for the Push Presses

2/9: Rest Day

2/10: Rest Day

2/11: At Home Workout:
         100 sit-ups
         100 air squats
         100 push-ups
          1 mile run

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Debt Update February 2017

I made a lot more progress in January!  I paid off $2500.87 of debt!  I worked a lot but it was definitely worth it.  $1565 came from my part time waitressing job.  The rest I was able to squeeze out of my monthly budget by cutting expenses.

Iberia Loan: PAID OFF!
Fifth Third: $5,288.40
Wells Fargo: $1529.12
Boyfriend Loan: $7,000
Total Debt: $13,817.52

My goal for February is to pay off the Wells Fargo balance and begin on the Fifth Third balance.

My car is leased and the lease is up in August.  I won't be leasing again but would like to buy a decent used car.  A car that is about 2 or 3 years old with about 40,000 miles or fewer on it and costs about $10k to $13k. I won't be able to pay off the $13K and save about $12K for the new car by August.  I would hate to bust my butt to pay the debt off to turn around and go right back into debt.  I would be okay buying a junker car for $1,000 and driving that for a little while but my day job is very client focused and unfortunately that would send the wrong impression to my clients.  I know going into debt to impress people is extremely stupid but I really think I would lose business and credibility if I show up to client meetings in a POS.  I may pay off all of the loans except the boyfriend loan and then begin saving money like crazy for the new car.  I'll check with him first but I think he'll be okay with that idea!  Happy with the progress I am making and hope I can keep it up for February!

Saturday, February 4, 2017

Workouts 1/29 to 2/4

I'm embarrassed to even post this!  Being sick sucks!  I have had no energy all week!  I finally woke up and felt like myself today.  I have motivation again and a desire to do things besides nap and watch Grey's Anatomy.  Hate that I missed a whole week of workouts but nothing I can do about it now.  Finally made it to a yoga class today.  It was on the beach and awesome!  I absolutely love the instructor.  She is very calm and has this awesome energy to her.  Just being around her makes me feel calm and happy.  She teaches two days a week and I would like to start going more often.  I am going to schedule my workouts for next week and get back on track.  Can anyone recommend a good daily vitamin or a greens supplement?  I used to be the person that could claim they never got sick and now I have been sick a lot in the last year:(

1/29: Sick

1/30: Sick

1/31: Sick

2/1: Sick

2/2: Sick

2/3: Sick

2/4: Beach Yoga

Friday, February 3, 2017

2017 Goals Update #1

I like to check in once a month with my annual goals.  This way I don't get to the end of the year and realize I haven't completed anything.  So here is what I accomplished in January!

2017 Goals
1.    Stop Biting Nails
·       1/30 Shellac on my nails.  Looking good.
2.    Increase income by 64%
3.    Increase Assets under Management by 30%
·       January 1st: $10,843,060
4.    Read 12 Business related books
5.    Teach FPU 3 times
1.    Jan 18th
6.    Be debt free by December 31, 2017
·       1/1/17: $16,318.39
·       2/1/17: $13,817.52
7.    Decrease body fat to 23%
8.    Be able to do 5 unassisted pull ups
9.    Do grey workouts only 25% of the time
10. Meditate 5 days a week
·       Jan: 19 days
11. Take a meditation class
12. Blog once a week
·       Jan : 10 posts
13. Read the Bible book from Natalie
14. Volunteer at church
15.  Attend a bible study or Connect Group at Church
16. Read 12 Spiritual Books
17. Try Paddleboarding
18. Have 0 alcohol related fights/issues
1.    Red wine Cab night
2.    Islamorada
Failed at this during January. This is why I decided to give up alcohol.
19. Get engaged to Dave
20.  Read 25 books for fun
1.    Summer House by Nancy Thayer
2.    Secret Daughter by Shilpi Somaya Gowda
21. Find a new charity to get involved with

Some Thoughts:
I am very happy that I paid off $2500 in debt!!  If I can keep that up every month I would be thrilled.  
II need to keep up meditating and increase it a bit because once I get behind with that I won't be able to catch up!
In January I am going to focus on 2 Spiritual Books and 2 Business Related Books!  

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Two Weeks Sober!!!

Its been two weeks since I've had any alcohol!  I thought the first two weeks would be more difficult but I have been very busy with work and the last four days I have been sick with bronchitis.  I think staying busy is extremely important in the beginning of this alcohol free journey.  I have barely had any time to go out with my friends so it has been easy to stay away from alcohol.

I had two occasions in the last two weeks where I didn't have alcohol and in the past I would have.  The first was going out to dinner with D.  We hadn't been out for a date night in awhile so we made it a priority.  In the past I would have had a drink or two at the house while we were getting ready to go out.  He had a beer at home before as we were getting ready and I was kind of tense because I didn't have a drink.  I felt uptight and somewhat anxious.  We went to the restaurant and I ordered a water and D ordered another beer.  At this time I started to relax a bit.  We know the owner of the restaurant and he came over at one point and offered to buy me a glass of wine and I politely declined, he was insisting that it went very well with the pasta dish that I was eating.  I just said that I had to be up very early the next day and would pass.  Besides being a little anxious at the house before we left the rest of the night was great!  It was nice not trying to moderate myself and worrying about overdoing it, or going to bed feeling guilty or waking up feeling crappy.  Plus since I wasn't drinking I had plenty of room for homemade gelato!

The second event was my monthly Book Club that I hosted.  My book club consists of about 10 ladies. We do a book exchange and just hang out and eat snacks and drink wine.  I was tense before people came over.  Normally I would have a glass of wine or two as I prepare appetizers and get the house ready but this month I just stuck to water.  I even escaped to my bathroom to practice some deep relaxation breathing as my friends were arriving.  WTH?!?!  Who has to go hide in their bathroom when their friends come over to breathe and relax?  That seems so weird to me.  Was I using alcohol before to handle some social anxieties that I have?  Once we all started laughing and having fun I relaxed.  I drank herbal tea all night.  One friend mentioned me just drinking tea and I just brushed it off and said that I may have wine later - even though I knew I DEFINITELY wasn't having wine later.  I just wasn't interested in explaining my new choice to everyone yet.

I am starting to wonder if maybe I have some type of social anxiety?  It seems that I get tense and want alcohol before some kind of event or outing.  Not sure if that is just habit or because I am nervous.  I am going to therapy to work on some of these issues.  I am not a "therapy person"  I have been to 4 sessions in my 32 years of life but figured it can't hurt.  Plus I have extra money now that I am not spending it on alcohol!  But therapy is NOT cheap.  As I learn more I will keep you posted!

Monday, January 30, 2017

Workouts 1/22 to 1/28

Ok this week was much better on the workout front!  Feeling back to myself!  5 workouts a week makes me feel great.  It was a very busy work week but I prioritized my workouts and made them happen.

1/22: Run 1 mile
         30 sit ups
         30 squats
         30 push-ups
         Run 1 mile
This was a quick at home workout.

1/23: Iron Tribe Power Class
         24 min EMOM:
         1st min: Front squats (I used 65lbs)
         2nd min: Max rep ring dips (I used 1 red band, struggled but stuck with it)
         3rd min: 45 sec max calorie bike
         4th min: Rest
Record total reps: 140 and Grey scale

1/24:  Iron Tribe Power Class
           For Time 23 min cap:
           2000m run
           150 1 arm russian KB swings (I used 26lbs)
           100 sit-ups
            50 HSPUs
I didn't finish this workout, but I was close! Grey scale

1/25:  Rest Day

1/26:Iron Tribe Power Class
         Partner Workout 23 min AMRAP:
        15 back squats (65lbs)
        12 V-ups
        12 cal row
Partner A completes entire set while Partner B rests.  We finished 9 + 15.  Orange Scale

1/27: Iron Tribe Push Class
         4 Rounds of 20 seconds work, 10 seconds rest for 3 sets at each station
         Station 1: Max cal row
         Station 2:  Bottom to bottom wall ball (I used 14lbs)
         Station 3:  Hollow body rock
Record total reps: 254

1/28: Rest Day

Monday, January 23, 2017

Sober Day 6...First Craving

Its 7:30pm.  Its Monday evening.  I had a 12 hour day.  Just got home.  Prepping dinner and usually I would have a glass of wine.  Typically I would drink the first glass very quickly and then have 1 or 2 more through out the night.  However I am no longer doing that and I am feeling anxious.  So I poured a grapefruit flavored club soda into a wine glass and I am pretending that is my "relaxing cocktail".  I know this will pass.  I wonder how much of it is just habit.  Either way I know I am strong enough to break the cycle.  It helps to journal it out here.  I will eat my dinner and stay busy for the rest of the night and then get a great nights sleep.  I have been working out and meditating daily.  I am trying to do all things to naturally calm myself and relax without alcohol.  I think I liked the alcohol at the end of the work day because it signaled to me that the hard work was over for the day and I could relax.  I guess I need a new habit or routine to tell my brain that it can chill a bit til the morning.  This too shall pass!

Sunday, January 22, 2017

Workouts 1/15 to 1/21

Second week in a row of not making it to Iron Tribe.  Alcohol, Traveling and Working have gotten in the way.  I have already scheduled my class for this week and will be back at the gym on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday!  I am looking forward to it and I know the first few classes will be tough!

1/15: Hotel Gym Workout: Run 1 mile but every 1 minute stop and do 10 push-ups
                                            250 air squats
This was a super fun workout!  And Im glad I was able to do it in a gym with a treadmill.  I would have felt goofy running and stopping outside to do push-ups

1/16: Yoga Class.  Our hotel in Cancun offered a free outdoor morning yoga class.  It had been a few months since I attended a yoga class and my body felt so good afterward.

1/17: Day in Islmorada

1/18: Hungover again:( Hence this post  Alcohol Free - Take Two

1/19: Busy getting back to real life with both jobs.  Left the house at 7am and didn't get home until 9pm.  Too tired to do anything then.

1/20: Nothing again

1/21:  Run 400 meters
           50 squats
           Run 400 meters
          50 push-ups
          Run 400 meters
          50 sit-ups
          Run 400 meters

Alcohol Free....Take Two

As I mentioned a few weeks ago in this post Alcohol Free I made a major mistake on the first Saturday of 2017 and drank WAY TOO MUCH WINE.  So much that three girlfriends had to put me in a cab and bring me home.  I got sick in the cab and all over our driveway and in our bedroom.  I was charged a $250 cab cleaning fee, still need to scrub the driveway again and had to throw out a rug in our bedroom.  What an embarrassing mess!  After that night I wrote the above post stating that I was going Alcohol Free for awhile.

Well that lasted about 5 days.  I had a conference for work in Cancun on Thursday.  The conference is short and there is a lot of free time to hang around the pool and drink.  The first day I abstained from drinking at the pool but asked D if he would mind me having a cocktail at the welcoming cocktail reception that evening.  He said that the decision was mine to make and that he wasn't going to tell me what to do.  So I decided to have one drink at the cocktail reception and one drink with dinner.  I was controlled and moderated well and didn't feel the urge to drink more.  We ended up going to bed early and it was great to wake up on vacation not hungover!  On day two I drank a bit more than two drinks and by day three I drank too much and don't remember going to bed. That is a problem.  My drinking always escalates. On day four I was kind of hungover and didn't drink very much.  After Cancun we traveled back to the US and had family in Islamorada in the Keys so we drove there to stay with them for two nights.  On the first night we got in late and only met them out for a bite to eat and a couple of drinks.  But Day two is where it went bad.  Real bad. We went on the boat during the day.  D bought me Smirnoff ices and a few other drinks like that for the boat.  Everyone started drinking but I was waiting to start so I could be more in control and not have an issue.  We stopped for lunch and I decided to order a two drinks there.  Then we got back on the boat and the drinking continued for me.  Then we stopped at another bar and I could feel myself picking up the pace and drinking quickly.  If I were normal this should have triggered something in my head to tell me to slow down and to order a water, but it didn't.  I continued drinking.  When we got back to the house and off the boat we all got showered up and ready to go to dinner.  As we were getting ready we opened a bottle of wine and I was definitely drinking it quickly.  I was embarrassed by how much I was drinking so I kept switching my glass with other peoples so it would look like they were drinking as much too.  Isn't that sick?  In my opinion, if you are embarrassed by the amount you are drinking you have an alcohol problem.

It has been 5 days since my last drink.  I have been very busy with both of my jobs and really haven't had the opportunity for a drink, so that has made it much easier.  But I plan to write about my journey so I keep myself in check and accountable.

Wish me luck!

Saturday, January 21, 2017

Workouts 1/8 to 1/14

What a crappy week of workouts!  I didn't workout on Sunday or Monday because I was miserably hungover.  I hate that.  On Tuesday and Wednesday I worked my full time day job and then my get out of debt waitressing job so unfortunately I didn't have any time to work out.  On Thursday we traveled to Cancun for my work conference.  I will be recapping our experience and the resort soon:)  By Thursday I was definitely feeling the effects of not working out.  I was extremely irritable on Wednesday and Thursday.  Yes I was PMSing too but it seemed worse than usual.  I made myself get up at 6am on our first day of vacation to go to the gym to get a workout in before my conference began.  I also did a quick workout on Saturday on our balcony.  For me exercise is more than just a tool to stay in shape.  For me its necessary for my mental health.  I aim for 4 to 5 workouts a week but definitely fell short this week.

1/8: Rest Day...AKA Hungover:(

1/9: Rest Day....AKA Hungover:(

1/10: Worked both jobs and no time

1/11: Worked both jobs and no time

1/12: Travel Day to Cancun

1/13: Hotel Gym Workout: 10 Rounds of 100m Sprint
                                                                   10 Burpees
and then 250 Squats

1/14: Hotel Gym Workout: 10 Rounds of: 10 Push-Ups
                                                                    10 Squats

Monday, January 9, 2017

Alcohol Free

My Goal #18 for 2017 is to have zero alcohol related fights or issues.  Its 9 days into the year and I have already screwed that up.  Actually I only made it 7 days into the year.  I drank WAY too much over the weekend and really embarrassed myself and my boyfriend.  I have spent the past two days hungover and feeling guilty.  What a waste of life!  So I have decided to cut alcohol out of my life for awhile.  I'm not sure how long I am going to do this.  I don't have a definite plan but trying to moderate was NOT working.  Before things go too far I am just going to abstain.  I don't know exactly what this means.  I'm not sure if I have a legitimate alcohol problem or just a lack of control.
These are the things I am going to try to figure out.

A lot of what I do for fun involves alcohol.  Whether its meeting a friend for happy hour or going out for dinner and drinks or going on the boat or to the beach.  I know alcohol doesn't have to be present at these things but for my group it typically is.  It will take a little adjusting to get used to not drinking but I know I can do it.  Also, I would like to find a few new non-alcohol related things to do.  I feel like I am heading in the correct direction.  I feel like this is what I need to do for me right now.  I hope my boyfriend will be supportive and encouraging.  99% of the fights that my boyfriend and I have had involve alcohol so I think this will bring a lot of peace to my life.  That is what I am looking forward too.

Workouts 1/1/2017 to 1/7/2017

This was a great week of workouts!  I love the mix of the Push and the Power Classes.  The Power classes are more weight lifting focused and the Push class is more of a bootcamp style.

Sunday - 1 Mile Run and then 10! of Burpees, Push-ups and Sit-ups

Monday - Iron Tribe Push Class: 2 Rounds of the Following:
                 3 minutes at each Station
                 Station 1: 15 max/30 light X 4 on Assault Bike
                 Station 2:  3 min AMRAP of 7 Box Jumps + 7 Burpees
                 Station 3: 200m MB run (14lbs) then max rep Sit-ups
                 Station 4: Rest

Station 1 on the assault bike was intense!  15 seconds of hard work doesn't sound too bad but it was awful!  My legs were fried for the box jumps on Station 2.

Tuesday - Iron Tribe Power Class: For Time: 25 minutes
                 5 Rounds:  400 meter run
                                    20 KB swings
                                    10 Handstand Push-ups
I used a 35lb Kettlebell, Orange scale and finished in 21:26.  This was a challenging workout!

Wednesday - Rest Day

Thursday - Rest Day

Friday - Iron Tribe Push Class: 5 Rounds of the Following
                               15 Calories on the Bike
                               20 Kettlebell Swings
                               10 Strict Hanging Leg Raise

Saturday - Yoga Class On Demand

Friday, January 6, 2017

Debt Update January 2017

As I mentioned a few weeks ago, http://creatingthehappiestlife.blogspot.com/2016/12/digging-my-way-out-of-debtagain.html I have found myself in a mountain of debt again.  Here is my January Update:

Iberia Loan  $2,377.67
Fifth Third   $5,395.40
Boyfriend     $7,000.00
Wells Fargo $1,545.12
TOTAL        $16,318.39

As of December 1st my Total Debt was $16,444.39.  So in the month of December I made very little progress.  At that rate it would take me FOREVER!!  So I started a part time job.  I went back to the waitressing gig that I had in college.  This was extremely humbling but honestly I wish I did it about a year ago. This situation would be cleared up by now if I had done that. This month I should be able to pay off the entire Iberia Loan.  That will be such a great feeling!  I think once one debt is gone it will feel like I am making progress and will be very exciting!

My point of writing this post is to keep me accountable and to help inspire others!  Debt can't feel overwhelming but just get started!

Monday, January 2, 2017

2017 Goals

I love goals!  I love a new year.  To me it feels like a fresh start, clean slate, a do over!  Here are my 2017 Goals:

1. Stop Biting Nails - Ugh this is a DISGUSTING habit and has been on my annual Goals list since 2011!  I stop for a few weeks or even months and then relapse.  If anyone has any tips please let me know!

2. Increase My Income by 64% - Large goal but I know it is attainable.

3. Increase Assets Under Management by 30% - Those in the Financial planning world will understand this.  This means that I want to increase the amount of client money that I manage by 30%.

4. Read 12 Business Related Books

5. Teach Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University Class 3 times

6. Be Debt Free by December 31, 2017

7. Decrease Body Fat to 23%...Got weighed today and I am currently at 25.7%

8. Be Able to do 5 Unassisted Pull-ups....I have been trying to increase my upper body strength for years but progress is very slow

9. Do grey workouts only 25% of the time...Iron Tribe breaks the class into different color divisions based on the amount of weight you use.  Grey is the easiest so I would like to do the harder workouts 75% of the time

10.  Meditate 5 days a week

11.  Take a meditation class

12.  Blog once a week

13.  Read The Story - The Bible as One Continuing Story of God and His People

14.  Volunteer at Church

15.  Attend a Bible Study or Connect Group at Church

16.  Read 12 Spiritual Books

17.  Try Paddleboarding...Live 5 minutes from the beach and love to exercise so this seems like something I should be doing on a regular basis.

18.  Have 0 alcohol related fights or issues...Ugh Alcohol....So fun...Til it isn't.  Sometimes (most times) when I drink I completely lose my filter.  This is not something that I am proud of.  This is somewhat acceptable for a 22 year old but not a 32 year old.  This is something I really really want to improve this year.

19.  Get Engaged to D

20.  Read 25 books for fun

21.  Find a New Charity to Get Involved With...I have volunteered with the American Cancer Society, our local Elementary school with a reading program and with Habitat for Humanity.  I enjoyed all three but am looking for something new that I am passionate about.

Sunday, January 1, 2017

Workout Recap 12/25 to 12/31

12/25: Christmas = Rest Day!

12/26: At home workout: 10 Rounds of 10 burpees and 10 sit-ups.
           I was short on time and just wanted to do something quickly

12/27: Rest Day

12/28: Iron Tribe Class: A. Sumo Deadlift (13 min)
                                            5 - 5- 5 - 5- 5  * Weight is approximately 75% of 1RM Deadlift
                                            I used 105lbs.  I probably could have went a little heavier.  It was my first                                             time doing a sumo deadlift so I wanted to make sure my form was correct.
                                        B. For Time (10 min cap)
                                             30 Burpees
                                             10 KB snatches
                                             20 Burpees
                                             20 KB snatches
                                             10 Burpees
                                             30 KB snatches
I used the lightest KB, only 15lbs.  KB snatches are a new move for me.  I finished in 8:05.

12/29: 3 mile run at 9'45" pace.

12/30: Rest Day

12/31: Rest Day

As you can see, quite a few rest days.  Usually I shoot for 2 or 3 rest days a week but this was a strange week. I wasn't going into the office regularly and my normal schedule was blown.  You would think if you weren't going to work that you would have a ton more time to work out but I really don't know what I spent my time doing.  Oh well!  Next week will be back to normal!